definitely not ordinary

IMG_8557in lieu of my weekly post “elevate the ordinary”, i’ve decided to post about me being an emotional mess during a week that i would describe as anything but ordinary.  no, nothing traumatizing or dramatic happened (well, at least by most people’s definitions) and yet i was still a wreck.  the little lady finished first grade.  and i cried.  really, colleen?

let me shed some perspective.  i’m typically not a public crier.  i don’t cry at funerals or weddings or in situations where everyone else seems to be crying.  i don’t know why, i just don’t.  yet i cried many mornings this year, putting my daughter on the school bus.  i cried when her first grade class all sang happy birthday to her, as she stood in front of her class, and i sat in the back, wiping away tears.  i cry sometimes when she tells me that she loves me.  i’ve cried when she has told me that she is grateful that i’m her mommy.  and today, her last day of school, i pick her up and she comes running at me, squealing in delight – she found out she got the 2nd grade teacher she wanted. and I CRIED.  i mean, i wasn’t bawling, but i shed some tears.  seriously.  there is just something about her, about our relationship, that pulls at my heartstrings.  and apparently makes me cry.

oh, little one.  yes, you make me cry.  but only because i love you to the point where my heart swells so much that it produces tears.

i’m going to need therapy when she graduates from high school.IMG_8546IMG_8566IMG_8576IMG_8554IMG_8580

6 Comments on “definitely not ordinary

  1. you are so right…get ready to cry through every school celebration…..you end up just crying more and more and more….but all good sweet tears….catch those tears in a bottle, they are magic.

  2. I love how she deeply touches your mama heart and how you go with it. It’s beautiful to me. To read. to imagine your moments like this. I understand. I didn’t cry when my oldest graduated high school. a boy. or when my second born. a boy. promoted out of middle school, but I cried when my youngest. a girl. promoted. Mostly because she had tears too and her tears they touched this mama’s heart so I cried with her. I’m not saying it’s a boy girl thing really but the connection you have with your girl is pretty amazing. I love the hear the stories you share in regards to her.

    • love and gratitude to you, t. she definitely touches a part of me that i never knew i had. . . it feels good to share a bit of these feelings here, and to read a response like this just makes my heart warmer.

  3. That just made me teary Colleen! And I don’t cry either.

  4. I want to hug you right now. I’m so the same way – always try to be stoic and never shed tears. But my little Bug gets my heart and I do the same thing – I shed tears at every little thing these days (while trying to stay as incognito as possible). I cried at his flag football game the other day, for pete’s sake!

    This is vastly different than with my older daughter. Of course, I feel the same way but she’s an independent woman now and has her own life and our relationship is starkly different (has been since day one). I also spent the majority of her young life barely keeping my head above water, financially strapped, struggling as a single mom. It breaks my heart that I missed out on so much, but maybe that is why I am savoring the little guy so much in the present. Pretty soon he’ll be grown just like his sister and we’ll both be in therapy together! 😉

    xo

    • oh this. . . you don’t know how comforting it is to read these words. it seems like you and i are cut from the same cloth in many ways, more than i realized. and here i just thought we shared a love of eddie 🙂

      i look forward to supporting each other, from afar, as the little ones grow. . . much love and gratitude.

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