to my daughter,
november presented us with a number of transitions, in little and big ways. both of us took a long while to shift back to life at home, after being on our grand adventure in south africa. the weather in new england transitioned from fall to the winter cold. our schedules have been more irregular than usual, as i am having a hard time juggling my work life while being able to provide you the energy and attention that i want to give you. one of our favorite people moved across the country. your baby cousin stayed with us for a bit, and you needed to adjust to me showering attention on another little love.
of course, it is the essence of life to have all sorts of distinct things moving alongside each other, in various directions, in constant transition. what was striking about this month, however, were the different ways that both of us were grappling with these changes, both big and small. and how much we influenced each other’s resonances. you came back from our trip, a bit calmer and more even keeled than before. not as quick to lose your temper, a little more patient when things didn’t go your way. i, on the other hand, was resonating at a high level. desperately trying to grab hold of the feelings i had during our travels and wondering how i could retain all the goodness i felt in south africa, while continuing to struggle with the realities of life at home, with challenging situations at work and in my personal life. as the days clicked away in november, i felt us feeding off of each other’s rhythms, and both of us slowly moved back towards our respective, typical baselines.
this month, i realized how much the ebb and flow of our own personal river of emotions feeds into the other. our unique relationship of mother and daughter (most often just the two of us, without others around) creates an incredible current of strength between us. just like a fast moving river, sometimes our dynamic is tough to deal with, as our levels are both running a bit too high. other times, like this month, we balance each other out, and we are able to ride out the rapids. this month, YOU created the calm. it is really beautiful, my little love, that our relationship has evolved this way. i am so incredibly grateful to you, for you to be by my side, as we continue to grow and learn; to help each other through our individual flow and fluctuations. thank you for being the source of my calm, for reminding me to slow down and take notice of the little details of our days. thank you for being you. our river abounds in love.