growing up, i never identified as a creative person. i wasn’t an artistic child. i didn’t – and still don’t – identify myself as any sort of writer. i started this blog a little over a year ago as a way for me to stay accountable to my photography learning, and it has sort of evolved as a way for me to express myself through words in addition to me sharing some of my images. the longer time goes on, the more confident i feel in sharing all that rumbles along in my head and heart. i now hold on to the concept that this blog can be described as my personal art project, expressing what is going on with me personally. while i desire a connection to anyone that reads my raw emotions here, i don’t care about how many “likes” a post gets, how many followers i gain in a week, what the stats tell me. my purpose here is not to be a popular blogger. my blog is a place for me to show up and share – to process the beauty, messiness, rawness, and wonder of my life. if, through my sharing and processing, i ignite some sort of emotional response in the reader, then hell yes.
most of the time, i have no idea if or how my online space resonates with anyone. then, i have a week like this one, and i receive a number of messages from a handful of people, telling me how much they enjoy reading my blog. by allowing my most vulnerable self to be seen here, it means something to them. i was blown away by these people reaching out to share how connected they feel, how reading my words and seeing the images rings true to their life experiences. one wonderful friend likened it to this: i may sometimes feel like i’m yelling at the top of my lungs to an empty room, but people are listening, and i may not know it. he said it’s similar to paying for someone else’s meal at a restaurant – i don’t get to see their reaction, but i can only hope that i have some sort of beneficial impact on their day.
in the last year, i have realized how much i love my alone time. to read, take photos, to write. up until recently, i didn’t realize how much i enjoyed my own company. and yet, at my core, i know am renewed by time with others. i love to sit and talk and learn about others and process life. it seems this blog has offered me the opportunity to explore both sides of me – the person that needs alone time AND speak to others. this is another insight into my own art, i suppose. i can be by myself and share the shittiness of what i’m going through, or the goodness all around me. either way, i am talking to you, and apparently, you are listening and following along. i am so so grateful to all of you. thank you for being here.